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Q: What do call a cow that has just had a calf?
A: Decalfenated
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Beef Jokes
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Q: How can you tell if a blonde has a vibrator?
A: By her chipped tooth.
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Dildo Jokes
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2
Q: What sort of key does a chimp need to open a banana?
A: A monk-key!
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Chimp Jokes
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Q: What is a polar bear's favorite stroke?
A: Blubber-fly!
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Swimming Jokes
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Q: What do college students and the Islanders have in common?
A: They’ve both finished their year by April.
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New York Islanders Jokes
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Q: What do you call a gorilla playing quidditch?
A: A hairy potter!!
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Gorilla Jokes
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Q: Why do people from El Paso keep their driver's license on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
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El Paso Jokes
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Q: How do you keep a Rangers fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick Flyers orange and black and he won't beat it for 4 years!
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New York Rangers Jokes
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Q: What do you call a sled dog with no legs?
A: It doesn't matter what you call it, it still won't run!
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Sled Dog Jokes
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Q: What does a Cincinnati Reds fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.
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Cincinnati Reds Jokes
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Q: What's the difference between an Los Angeles Lakers fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
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Los Angeles Lakers Jokes
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Q: What is a Baltimore Ravens fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Pittsburgh."
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Baltimore Ravens Jokes
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Q: How do you know that Michael Jackson is not dead?
A: He's still registered to vote in Corpus Christi!
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Corpus Christi Jokes
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Q: How do you stop an Los Angeles Kings fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Detroit Red and White!
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Los Angeles Kings Jokes
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Q: If you have a car containing a Astros shortstop, a Astros catcher, and a Astros outfielder, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.
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Houston Astros Jokes
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Q: What does a New York Knicks fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.
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New York Knicks Jokes
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Q: What's the difference between your job and a Dead Whore?
A: Your job still sucks!
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Whore Jokes
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Q: What did doctors discover after Kim K had her butt x-rayed?
A: A brain tumor!
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Kim Kardashian One Liners Jokes
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Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Nashville Predators fan in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog
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Nashville Predators Jokes
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Q: What's the difference between a Scottrade Center hotdog, and a Joe Louis Arena hotdog?
A: You can buy a Joe Louis Arena hotdog in May!
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St Louis Blues Jokes