Good quotes - page №8385

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Q: What does the Los Angeles Dodgers manager and Alex Trebek have in common?
A: Both of there jobs are in Jeopardy.

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Q: If you have a car containing a Athletics shortstop, a Athletics catcher, and a Athletics outfielder, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

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Q: How many USC Trojans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!

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Q: Why did the Kings enforcer retire early?
A: He was ice fishing and got run over by the zamboni!

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Q: What are basketball players doing during the NBA lockout?
A: Marrying & divorcing a Kardashian!

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Q: What is an Arkansas fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Florida."

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Q: What should you do if you find three Phoenix Suns basketball fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

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Q: What's blue and orange and goes down the toilet faster than Liquid Plumber?
A: The Atlanta Thrashers

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Q: How does a ginger answer her phone on a Saturday night?
A: Wrong number.
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Q: Why do Southern New Hampshire University grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

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Q: When can a pizza marry a hot dog?
A: After they have a very frank relationship!
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Q: What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?
A: Well hung.
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Q: What does a Utah native and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.
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Q: What do you get when an army officer puts his nose to the grindstone?
A: A sharp major.
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Q: Why are Detroit Lions jokes getting dumb and dumber?
A: Because Lions fans have started to make them up themselves.

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Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the Drake University campus?
A: A visitor.
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Q: Which is the Richest Cheese in the world?
A: Paris Stilton.
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Q: Whats the difference between the Texas Rangers and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking.

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Q: What did the seal say when it swam into a concrete wall?
A: "Dam!"
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Q: Why did the platypus cross the road?
A: Because there was free food on the other side.