Good quotes - page №8392

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Q: What's the difference between the Oakland Raiders & the Taliban?
A: The Taliban has a running game!

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Q: What's the best way to teach your dog to roll over and play dead?
A: Have him watch a couple Green Bay Packers games.

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Q: What's the difference between dirt and the Baltimore Orioles?
A: Nothing...they both always get swept.

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Q: What is a New York Jets fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat New England."

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Q: Did you hear about the monster with five legs?
A: His trousers fit him like a glove.
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Q: Whats the difference between the Baltimore Orioles and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking.

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Q: Why is a Texas Billionaire buying the New York Giants and moving them to Virginia?
A: So he can call them the VaGiants

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Q: How do you know if an Chinaman robbed your house?
A: Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the fucker is still trying to back out of your driveway.
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Q:What do you get when you take a native Alaskan and divide its circumference by its diameter?
A: Eskimo pi.
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Q: What's the best part of gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with my hoes.

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Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behavior - and it should be encouraged.

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Q: What kind of makeup do ghosts wear?
A: Mas-scare-a.

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Q: How many legs to sled dogs have?
A: Six. Forelegs at the front and two at the back!

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Q: What does the average North Carolina State University student get on his SAT?
A: Drool.

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Q: What do you call a Minnesota Viking with a Super Bowl ring?
A: A thief.

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Q: Why don't vampires like mosquitoes?
A: Too much competition!
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Q: Where do you go in Tampa Bay in case of a tornado?
A: Raymond James Stadium - they never get a touchdown there!

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Q: Why don't the Sharks drink tea?
A: Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.

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Q: Did you hear about the great new restaurant on the moon?
A: The food is excellent, but there's no atmosphere.
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Q: Why do giraffes have long necks?
A: Because their feet smell!
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