Good quotes - page №8393

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Q: Why shouldn't you tell jokes while ice skating?
A: Because the ice might crack up!

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Q: What do you call a dinosaur with high heels?
A: My-feet-are-saurus

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Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot and a centipede?
A: A walkie-talkie.
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Q: How many newspaper columnists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but he'll tell everybody.

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Q: Why do Indianapolis Colts fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

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Q: You're trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and an Liverpool Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A: Shoot the Liverpool Fan. Twice.

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Q: What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide-and-seek?
A: Fowl play!
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Q: Why do all the trees in the Northeast lean towards Philadelphia?
A: It’s because the Phillies suck.

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Q: What did Bruce Banner say to Spider Man?
A: "Don't bug me."

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Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his whopper!
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Q: What do a fine wine and the Anaheim Ducks have in common?
A: They both spend a lot of time in the cellar, cost too much and are only enjoyed on select occasions.

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Q: What is the definition of a Denton virgin?
A: An ugly twelve year old who can outrun her brothers.
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Q: Where do gorillas like to get their hair cut?
A: Vidal Baboon!
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Q: What does an New Orleans Hornets fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

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Q: What is Korean Dracula's favorite morning beverage?
A: Koh-peee! (coffee)
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Q: Why do UNLV grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
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Q: What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
A: Plymouth Rock

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Q: What does an Cincinnati Reds fan do when his team has won the World Series?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

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Q: Who's the dumbest person in America?
A: OJ's next girlfriend!

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Q: How do you know when a blond's been in your frige?
A: Lipstick on the cucumbers!
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