Anaheim Ducks Jokes

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Q: Why doesn't Sacramento have a professional hockey team?
A: Because then Anaheim would want one.

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Q: How do the Ducks spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

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Q: What should you do if you find three Anaheim Ducks hockey fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

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Q: What do the Anaheim Ducks and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

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Q: If you have a car containing a Ducks forward, a Ducks center, and a Ducks defender, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

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Q: What’s the difference between a fat chick and the Ducks?
A: Even a fat chick scores every once in a while!

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Q: How many Anaheim Ducks fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!

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Q: Why did the Post Office recall their latest stamps?
A: They had pictures of Ducks players on them and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

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Q: What’s the difference between Frequent Flyer Miles and the Anaheim Ducks?
A: Frequent Flyer Miles earn points.

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Q: Why do people like driving a car with a Ducks fan?
A: Because you can park in the handicap zone!

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Q: What song do Anaheim Ducks fans sing before the end of the third period?
A: Nobody knows. There's never any of them left.

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Q: Did you hear the Anaheim Ducks are moving to the Phillipines?
A: They are going to be called the Manilla Folders!

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Q: How many Anaheim Ducks does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

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Q: Why are the Anaheim Ducks like United States Postal Service?
A: They both wear uniforms and don't deliver!

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Q: What's the difference between a Honda Center hotdog, and a Joe Louis Arena hotdog?
A: You can buy a Joe Louis Arena hotdog in May!

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Q: How do you keep a Ducks fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick Red Wings red and white and he won't beat it for 4 years!

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Q: What does a recent high school dropout and the Anaheim Ducks have in common?
A: They’re both young, have no goals and no good prospects.

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Q: How do you casterate an Anaheim Ducks fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

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Q: What's blue and orange and goes down the toilet faster than Liquid Plumber?
A: The Anaheim Ducks

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Q: What do you get when you combine all 23 Anaheim Ducks with 23 lesbians?
A: Fourty-Six people that dont do dick!