Arizona Diamondbacks Jokes

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Q: What does the Arizona Diamondbacks manager and Alex Trebek have in common?
A: Both of there jobs are in Jeopardy.

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Q: Did you hear that Arizona's baseball team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

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Q: What is the diference between a cactus and the Diamondbacks dugout?
A: On a cactus the pricks are on the outside!

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Q: How do you stop an Arizona Diamondbacks fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Philadelphia Red and White!

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Q: What do the Arizona Diamondbacks and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 40,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

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Q: What is a Arizona Diamondbacks fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Philadelphia."

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Q: Why do all the trees in the Southwest lean towards Arizona?
A: It’s because the Diamondbacks suck.

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Q: How do the Diamondbacks spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

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Q: Whats the difference between the Arizona Diamondbacks and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking.

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Q: If you have a car containing a Diamondbacks shortstop, a Diamondbacks catcher, and a Diamondbacks outfielder, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

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Q: How do you make a Diamondbacks fan laugh on Monday?
A: Tell him a joke on Friday!

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Q: What do you call 40 millionaires around a TV watching the World Series?
A: The Arizona Diamondbacks.

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Q: What song do Arizona Diamondbacks fans sing before the bottom of the ninth inning?
A: Nobody knows. There's never any of them left.

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Q: What do the Arizona Diamondbacks and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

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Q: How many Arizona Diamondbacks does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

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Q: What does an Arizona Diamondbacks fan do when his team has won the World Series?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

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Q: Why did the Post Office recall their latest stamps?
A: They had pictures of Diamondbacks players on them and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

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Q: Did you hear the Arizona Diamondbacks are moving to the Phillipines?
A: They are going to be called the Manilla Folders!

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Q: What's the difference between an Arizona Diamondbacks fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

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Q: What should you do if you find three Arizona Diamondbacks baseball fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.