Aston Villa Jokes

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Q: You're trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and an Aston Villa Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A: Shoot the Villa Fan. Twice.

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Q: What do you call 100 Aston Villa supporters at the bottom of a cliff?
A: A good start!

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Q: Why are Villa strikers like grizzly bears?
A: Every fall they go into hibernation.

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Q: Why do Villa fans suck at geometry?
A: Because they never have any points.

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Q: Did you hear that Aston Villa doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

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Q: What is the difference between an Aston Villa supporter and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

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Q: Why don't they drink tea at Villa Park?
A: Because all the cups are in Manchester.

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Q: Why did god invent alcohol?
A: So Aston Villa supporters can get laid too.

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Q: What’s the difference between a fat chick and a Villa striker?
A: Even a fat chick scores every once in a while!

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Q: What is the shortest book in the world called?
A: Intelligent Aston Villa supporters.

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Q: What’s the difference between Frequent Flyer Miles and Aston Villa?
A: Frequent Flyer Miles earn points.

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Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask an Aston Villa supporter!

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Q: What do you call an Aston Villa fan in a suit?
A: The accused.

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Q: What do you say to a Aston Villa supporter with a good looking bird on his arm?
A: Nice tattoo

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Q: Why did God make Aston Villa supporters smelly?
A: So blind people could laugh at them too!

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Q: What's the difference between onions and an Aston Villa supporter?
A: I cry when I cut up onions...

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Q: What do you call an Aston Villa fan that does well on an IQ test?
A: A cheat.

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Q: What do you call 5 Aston Villa fans standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.

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Q: How do you casterate an Aston Villa supporter?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

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Q: What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Villa fan?
A: The bucket.