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Scoot over, man. I don't like you that much."
"Dick. That's not what you said last night."
"Bite me.

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Just because he's a spider doesn't mean he deserves any less concern!

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Silence, and then Eve said, "Okay, that was extra creepy, with whipped creepy topping. And this is me, changing my mind.

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I guess in my beer-soaked mind it would all just magically work out, and she'd be so happy to see me she'd forget about everything else. Because everybody loves having the drunken self-pitying boyfriend banging on their door at, Jesus, four thirty in the morning.

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If Myrnin pokes his crazy head up before then, call me and try to keep him, you know, stable.'

'Is he UNstable?'

'I don't know, how can I tell? You're the crazy whisperer!'

She had a point. Claire couldn't help but smile about that.

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Well, friend, I don’t know about your tastes, but I tend to like it very bloody,” Myrnin said. He shifted position, dragging Claire along like a rag doll without any effort at all. “Have we been introduced?”
“Probably not. Why, are you asking me out, sweetheart?”
“You’re not my type, darling. Is this one yours?”
“No,” Frank said, and looked at Shane, just in a quick flicker. “Let’s say she’s a friend of the family.

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You are so lucky I'm too tired to murder you right now.

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But that quickly faded, and he frowned. "You're bleeding," he said. "What happened?"
Claire sighed and held up her wrist to show him the bandage. "Man, you would be so embarrassed if I said it was something else." Michael looked blank. "I'm a girl, Michael, it could have been all natural, you know. Tampons?

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Damn, Claire. Warn a guy before you do a face-plant on the floor next time. I could have looked all heroic and caught you or something -Shane

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I'm not obliged to defend your dignity. Provided you have any.

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Don't read it. Just shred and burn, or your eyes will melt.

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She can go with us to the lab and keep Myrnin pinned down while we pull the plug, if he's not... you know, better."
"Define BETTER with that guy."
"Not all fangs and raaaaar.

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There were a few things scarier than a bipolar vampire off his meds, but to be honest, not that many.

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You're kidding," Shane said. "Do you think I want to visit Crazy McTeeth in his lair of insanity?"
"No," Claire said, "but I'm pretty sure you won't like it if I go alone when I just kind of promised to be with you. So...?"
"Right. I've been missing Nutty McFang anyway."
"Stop making up names for him."
"What about Count Crackula?"
"Just stop.

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It made her eyes fill up with tears, and she for a few more minutes starting it over, replaying it, watching his lips say the words: "We can be lonely together.

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I’m faster than the rest of you, if .. Because I’m a vampire,” Michael said, and it was some kind of breakthrough for him to say that. “If you get in trouble, I’ll be there.”
“Nice,” Shane said. “I’m warming up to this bloodsucking thing, Mikey.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Okay, no, I’m not, but right now let’s pretend I am.

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Maybe she'd seen too many Japanese horror movies, and maybe it was just a tingle of warning from generations of superstitious ancestors, but suddenly she knew that what Alyssa wanted was not to be saved, but for Shane to join her. In death.

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In her experience, groups of friends like that just didn't open up to include underage, undersized geeks like her. They hadn't sounded mean, they just sounded — self-confident. Something she wasn't.

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His eyes ignited into a color found only in the heart of the sun. ‘‘Yes?’’
‘‘Yes, already. I’ll marry you. Yes. Hell, yes. What am I, stupid?

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Please. I am the queen of careful. Also, princess of punk fabulousness.