Q: What do the Boston Bruins and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 15,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".
Q: What do the Boston Bruins and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
Q: How many Boston Bruins fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!
Q: What do Boston Bruins fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Q: Why do people like driving a car with a Bruins fan?
A: Because you can park in the handicap zone!
Q: Did you hear the Boston Bruins are moving to the Phillipines?
A: They are going to be called the Manilla Folders!
Q: What song do Boston Bruins fans sing before the end of the third period?
A: Nobody knows. There's never any of them left.
Q: What’s the difference between a fat chick and the Bruins?
A: Even a fat chick scores every once in a while!
Q: What is the difference between a bucket of shit and an Boston Bruins fan?
A: The bucket.
Q: How can you tell if a Bruins fan just sent you a fax?
A: There's a stamp on it!
Q: Why doesn't Connecticut have a professional hockey team?
A: Because then Massachusetts would want one.
Q: What do a fine wine and the Boston Bruins have in common?
A: They both spend a lot of time in the cellar, cost too much and are only enjoyed on select occasions.
Q: Why do Bruins fans drink from a saucer?
A: Because the cup's always in Detroit!
Q: What's the difference between an Boston Bruins fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Q: What does an Boston Bruins fan do when his team has won the Stanley Cup?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.
Q: What do college students and the Bruins have in common?
A: They’ve both finished their year by April.
Q: What's the difference between a TD Garden hotdog, and a Wells Fargo Center hotdog?
A: You can buy a Wells Fargo Center hotdog in May!
Q: What’s the difference between Frequent Flyer Miles and the Boston Bruins?
A: Frequent Flyer Miles earn points.
Q: How do you casterate an Boston Bruins fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth
Q: What’s the difference between the TD Garden and a red light district?
A: In a red light district, you pay $300 bucks and somebody scores.