Boston Celtics Jokes

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Q: What delayed Stephon Marbury's arrival in Boston?
A: All the excess baggage he carried along with him!

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Q: How do you keep a Celtics fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick Boston green and white and he won't beat it for 4 years!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
A: Because he thought Glen "Big Baby" Davis was going to eat him!

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Q: What do the Boston Celtics and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

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Q: How many Boston Celtics fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!

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Q: Why doesn't Connecticut have a professional basketball team?
A: Because then Massachusetts would want one.

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Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an Boston Celtics fan?
A: The bucket.

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Q: What is a Boston Celtics fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Los Angeles."

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Q: How do you stop an Boston Celtics fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Los Angeles Yellow and Purple!

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Q: If you have a car containing a Celtics power forward, a Celtics point guard, and a Celtics center, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

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Q: How do the Celtics spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

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Q: What do you call 12 millionaires around a TV watching the NBA Finals?
A: The Boston Celtics.

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Q: What do you call a Boston Celtic in the NBA Finals?
A: A referee.

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Q: How do you keep an Boston Celtics player out of your yard?
A: Put up a basketball net.

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Q: Why do Boston Celtics fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

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Q: What does an Boston Celtics fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

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Q: What's the difference between an Boston Celtics fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

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Q: What is the difference between a Celtics fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

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Q: Did you hear that Boston's basketball team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

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Q: What's the difference between the Boston Celtics and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.