Calgary Flames Jokes

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Q: How do you casterate an Calgary Flames fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

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Q: Why doesn't Red Deer have an NHL team?
A: Because then Calgary would want one.

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Q: What do the Calgary Flames and the Titanic have in common?
A: They both look good until they hit the ice!

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Q: What's the difference between the Calgary Flames and a bra?
A: A bra has 2 cups!

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Q: What song do Calgary Flames fans sing before the end of the third period?
A: Nobody knows. There's never any of them left.

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Q: What’s the difference between a line of cocaine and a pair of Flames tickets?
A: People would pass up a pair of Flames tickets.

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Q: What do I have in common with the Calgary Flames?
A: Next week, we'll both be watching the Stanley Cup Finals on television.

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Q: Why don't the Flames drink tea?
A: Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.

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Q: What should you do if you find three Calgary Flames hockey fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

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Q: How do you stop an Calgary Flames fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Detroit Red and White!

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Q: Why do Flames fans drink from a saucer?
A: Because the cup's always in Detroit!

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Q: What do college students and the Flames have in common?
A: They’ve both finished their year by April.

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Q: Did you hear that Calgary's hockey team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

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Q: Why did BP hire the Calgary Flames to clean up the Gulf oil spill?
A: Because they'll go out there and throw in the towel!

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Q: What’s the difference between a fat chick and the Calgary Flames?
A: Even a fat chick scores every once in a while!

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Q: What does an Calgary Flames fan do when his team has won the Stanley Cup?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

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Q: What's blue and orange and goes down the toilet faster than Liquid Plumber?
A: The Calgary Flames

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Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Calgary Flames fan in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog

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Q: What is it called when a Calgary Flames player blows in another Flames players ear?
A: Data transfer.

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Q: What does a Calgary Flames fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.