Chipmunk Jokes

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Q: Why do chipmunks swim on there back?
A: To keep their nuts dry!

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Q: How do you catch a Polynesian chipmunk?
A: Climb a tree and act like a coconut.

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Q: How do you catch a chipmunk for the holidays?
A: Climb a tree and act like nutmeg.

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Q: How do you catch a chipmunk with a Pamela Anderson fixation?
A: Climb a tree and act like a chestnut.

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Q: How can you catch a gay chipmunk?
A: Climb a tree and pretend to be an almond (botanically speaking, almonds are fruits).

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Q: How do you catch a mechanically inclined chipmunk?
A: Climb a tree and act like a 9/16 12N nut.

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Q: How do you catch a carpenter chipmunk (definition: a chipmunk that likes power tools)?
A: Go to Home Depot and pretend to be nut-wood.

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Q: How do you catch a rich chipmunk?
A: Climb a tree and act like a cashew.

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Q: How do you catch a chipmunk interested in ornithology?
A: Climb a tree and act like a nuthatch (Sitta carolinensis).

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Q: How many chipmunks does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Actually, none because chipmunks only change bulbs that are NUT broken.

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Q: What do you call 144 chipmunks in a box?
A: Gross!

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Q: How do you catch an Irish chipmunk?
A: Climb a tree and act like a green pistachio nut.

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Q: Why did the chipmunk cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

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Q: Why does it take more than one chipmunk to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Because they're so darn stupid!