Cleveland Jokes

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Q: Why do people from Cleveland keep their driver's license on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

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Q: What are the only two seasons in Cleveland?
A: Winter and Construction.

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Q: How do you know that Cleveland is getting desparate to help remove record snowfalls this winter?
A: They are willing to pay Amy Winehouse and Lindsay Lohan by the ounce to help out with snow removal

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Q: What's the first thing an Cleveland girl does when she wakes up in the morning?
A: Walks home.

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Q: Why does Jim Brown want Lebron James to remain in Cleveland?
A: Because misery loves company!

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Q: How much snow and sleet fell in Cleveland?
A: So much that hookers are exchanging sex for Ice Melt.

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Q: What is the difference between a person from Cleveland and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

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Q: What is the definition of safe sex down in Cleveland?
A: Placing signs on the animals that kick.

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Q: Why do people from Cleveland have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First!

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Q: How do you know that Michael Jackson is not dead?
A: He's still registered to vote in Cleveland!

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Q: What do people from Cleveland and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.

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Q: What do tornadoes and people from Cleveland have in common?
A: They both end up in trailer parks.

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Q: How do kids from Cleveland spend the first week of the school year?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

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Q: What is the definition of a Cleveland virgin?
A: An ugly twelve year old who can outrun her brothers.

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Q: What is the difference between Fausto Carmona and bowling icon Walter Ray Williams, Jr.?
A: Walter Ray Williams, Jr. knows how to throw a strike.

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Q: Why shouldn't prosecutors release Browns WR Donte Stallworth from jail?
A: Because if he's going back to Cleveland he won't notice a difference!

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Q: What's the advantage of being married to a person from Cleveland?
A: You can park in handicapped zones.

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Q: What is the difference between a bucket of shit and people from Cleveland?
A: The bucket.

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Q: How do people in Cleveland vote?
A: Early and often!

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Q: What did the Cleveland girl say after sex?
A: Get off me Dad, you're crushing my smokes!