Cocaine Jokes

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Q: Who makes more money a cocaine dealer or a prostitute?
A: A prostitute, because she can always wash her crack, and sell it again!
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Q: What happened to the guy who accidentilly mixed Rogaine into his cocaine?
A: He's in the Guiness Book of World Records for the world's longest nostril hair!
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Q: How do you know that a Mexican drug cartel has purchased your favorite cereal companies?
A1: Sonny, the Cuckoo bird for Cocoa Puffs was arrested for carrying a kg of cocaine!
A2: The Trix rabbit was found dead after an apparent ecstasy overdose!
A3: They use Tony the Tiger to promote an adult cocaine infused version of "Frosted Flakes"
A4: They change the slogan for Rice Krispies to "Snack on crack and pot...Rice Krispies!"
Q: What did a team of doctors say when Nicole Richie complained about her inability to gain weight while she was pregnant?
A: Doctors concluded that she should eat foods rather than cocaine and vodka!
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Q: What do you call a person addicted to both cocaine and marijuana?
A: A Crack-Pot
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Q: What can tourists do on a $65 tour of gang turf in Los Angeles?
A: Purchase a postcard, t-shirt, and some crack cocaine!
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Q: What film is getting its lead actress Lindsay Lohan a lot of Oscar buzz?
A: Coke Whore!
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Q: Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener?
A: She thought it was diet coke.
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Q: What did Courtney love say after losing 45 pounds in 4 months?
A: Cocaine is yummy!
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Q: How did the WTA know that Martina Hingis was using cocaine?
A: She tried to snort the service line!
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Q: What can you infer after watching a Billy Mays infomercial?
A: He would one day die of a cocaine overdose!
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Q: What will Amy Winehouse do with her 5 grammy awards?
A: Sell them on Ebay to buy cocaine!
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Q: What do republicans think it's alright to do cocaine?
A: Cocaine is God's way of saying you earn far too much money!
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Q: Why did Ann Coulter have to be rushed to the emergency room after doing cocaine?
A: Apparently she walked naked past a mirror and saw her penis!
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Q: What's worth more than a black market kidney or liver?
A: Kate Moss' nose hairs!
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Q: If legalizing pot in the USA can bring in billions in dollars in taxes, what can legalizing cocaine do?
A: Bring back the Bee-Gees and clothing from the 70's!
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Q: If cocaine were legal, what would the little packages be called?
A: Sweet N' High?
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Q: Why was Tila Tequila caught stalking a beautiful woman?
A: The beautiful woman reminded Tila of her ex and the vial of crack cocaine she stole!
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Q: What did George W Bush say after hearing Barack Obama admitted to using cocaine in high school?
A: "High school? I can't believe he waited that long."
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Q: What are the first five words a crackhead in a three piece tailored suit hears?
A: "Will the defendant please rise"
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Q: What happened after the government released a survey finding that most US currency is laced with cocaine?
A: The street value of a dollar bill jumped to $1.14!
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