Quotes about Comedy

149175 anonym 0
0
Le 99%, c'est moi.

148903 anonym 0
0
If the CIA isn’t a force for truth, what is it good for? (Truth, I mean, not the CIA.)

148795 anonym 0
0
Naked intelligence officer ('nā-kəd in-'te-lə-jən(t)s 'ä-fə-sər)

1 : an intelligence officer in a state of undress

2 : an intelligence officer whose cover has been compromised

3 : an intelligence officer, in reality fully clothed, disguised as a naked person for operational purposes

4 : [Secret]

148450 anonym 0
0
Remember when the question 'Ginger or Mary Ann' had nothing to do with who would be the last surviving cast member?

149324 anonym 0
0
Few people actually read. Instead, everyone likes pretending they read. If we spent as much time reading as we say we do, we'd be grossly overweight and depressed.
Share:

149475 anonym 0
0
Twas Thomas Edison did declare that waste is worse than loss yet never thought it fit to pare his first name to Tomás

150752 anonym 0
0
At CBS, I’m in your house. I’m mindful of that. When I do standup, you’re in my home and I can say what I want to.

150386 anonym 0
0
Even amidst tragedy there is laughter, sometimes farce. The degree of farce depends on who is running the tragedy.
Share:

150365 anonym 0
0
Sleepwalking is the perfect exorcise for lazy people

148349 anonym 0
0
Each of us is full of shit in our own special way. We are all shitty little snowflakes dancing in the universe.

148036 anonym 0
0
Where have all the Fembots gone?

146421 anonym 0
0
Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.

145971 anonym 0
0
The girdle went from just under my breasts to the top of my knees. It cinched me in pretty tight. In fact, it was so tight that when I sat in it and farted, the farts would slide up my back, shoot out the top of the girdle, and make my hair fly off the back of my beck.
Share:

145867 anonym 0
0
Taking his hand I said "Fank woo."
"Hm " he laughed with his mouth closed.

146720 anonym 0
0
Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the
Lowest crime rates in the country
Share:

146733 anonym 0
0
Staring at my smoldering hot date, her husband stands tall for the first time in a decade, adjusting his toupee while flashing a horrid green toothy grin that looks more like a Steven Hawkins muscle spasm. In his hands, a frightened beer bottle is choked with the steel grip of a sexually repressed Preacher.

147705 anonym 0
0
Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say... sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of... it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like... after "I love you"... or "You're going to live"... or "It's a boy!
Share:

147597 anonym 0
0
under the gold standard, a free banking system stands as the protector of an economy's stability and balanced growth... The abandonment of the gold standard made it possible for the welfare statists to use the banking system as a means to an unlimited expansion of credit... In the absence of the gold standard, there is no way to protect savings from confiscation through inflation
Share:

147557 anonym 0
0
You can’t plan a trip to Burning Man and truly go there.

145751 anonym 0
0
Classifications as Jokes

Confidential: snickers

Secret: guffaws

Top Secret: full belly laughs

Unclassified: uproarious laughter and applause