Q: How many Dallas Stars does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up
Q: Why are the Dallas Stars like United States Postal Service?
A: They both wear uniforms and don't deliver!
Q: Why doesn't Houston have a professional hockey team?
A: Because then Dallas would want one.
Q: How can you tell if a Stars fan just sent you a fax?
A: There's a stamp on it!
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Dallas Stars fan in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog
Q: Did you hear the Dallas Stars are moving to the Phillipines?
A: They are going to be called the Manilla Folders!
Q: What does a recent high school dropout and the Dallas Stars have in common?
A: They’re both young, have no goals and no good prospects.
Q: What’s the difference between the Dallas Mavericks and the Dallas Stars?
A: The Mavericks shoot at a net.
Q: Why don't the Stars drink tea?
A: Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
Q: Why do people like driving a car with a Stars fan?
A: Because you can park in the handicap zone!
Q: What do you call 23 millionaires around a TV watching the Stanley Cup Finals?
A: The Dallas Stars.
Q: What’s the difference between a line of cocaine and a pair of Stars tickets?
A: People would pass up a pair of Stars tickets.
Q: What does a Dallas Stars fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.
Q: What do you call 5 Dallas Stars players standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Q: What do I have in common with the Dallas Stars?
A: Next week, we'll both be watching the Stanley Cup Finals on television.
Q: How do you casterate an Dallas Stars fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth
Q: Did you hear that Dallas's hockey team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.
Q: Why did the Post Office recall their latest stamps?
A: They had pictures of Stars players on them and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
Q: Why did BP hire the Dallas Stars to clean up the Gulf oil spill?
A: Because they'll go out there and throw in the towel!
Q: What do you get when you combine all 23 Dallas Stars with 23 lesbians?
A: Fourty-Six people that dont do dick!