62134 anonym 0
0
I have no idea what time it is in London, and have had too much wine to bother with the math to figure it out.
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60446 anonym 0
0
His eyes were like two wafers of slate, grey and lifeless.

59826 anonym 0
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If we could all drink ourselves to innocence, I’d be guilty. And I mean that in a way that I don’t mean that.


59752 anonym 0
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Lady Astor was also said to have responded to a question from Churchill about what disguise he should wear to a masquerade ball by saying, "Why don't you come sober, Prime Minister?"
(Reported exchange with Winston Churchill)

63207 anonym 0
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Wetting one's pants is no kind of self-esteem builder.

63576 anonym 0
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And sometimes drunk women aren't raped; they just make stupid choices--and to say we deserve special treatment when we're drunk because we're women, to say we need to be looked after, I find offensive.

68114 anonym 0
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Drive. He’s already dead.

68006 anonym 0
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Oh my God. I'm not Keith Richards. I'm Otis from Mayberry! A fucking drunk!
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65367 anonym 0
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Nothing bonds two solitary individuals like a good shared drunk. This is a scientific fact. It’s important, even necessary for the long-term welfare of the planet to get good and shit-faced with your neighbor every now and then.

59482 anonym 0
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If you’d saved the girl, you’d be a hero. Next time.

58578 anonym 0
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If I were a betting man, and Thank Vegas I’m not, I’d say this bartender looks guilty of murder. Or maybe he just looks drunk. Possibly the two looks are identical.


50570 anonym 0
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Her voice was small and distant, like she’d already left the room.

50190 anonym 0
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Could the two people who are making out please be quiet?" the Colonel asked loudly from his sleeping bag. "Those of us who are not making out are drunk and tired.

45382 anonym 0
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As I was walking past Tony Pastor's I saw Pat, the lesbian bouncer, throw a drunken young sailor out into the street. The sailor said, "That place is full of fucking queers." He swung at the air and nearly fell on his face, then he staggered away, muttering to himself.

52316 anonym 0
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It's because you aren't thinking very clearly tonight."

"I know. Being Drunk is weird."

"Oh my god. I love you so much. Especially when you say stuff like that."

"Like what?"

"Nothing. Never mind. Although I'm dying to know why your shoe is green.

55332 anonym 0
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I went on a road trip with my cat, Cap’n. I would have let him drive, but he was drunk.

58198 anonym 0
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Ok.. So are you goin’a let him bluetube your tweeter?
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57612 anonym 0
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He was so drunk that he would have stubbornly denied that he was.

55397 anonym 0
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I don't drink to make others look better, I just drink to make myself feel prettier.

45251 anonym 0
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A riverless silence made the air heavy.