Edmonton Oilers Jokes

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Q: What does a Edmonton Oilers fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.

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Q: What’s the difference between a line of cocaine and a pair of Oilers tickets?
A: People would pass up a pair of Oilers tickets.

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Q: Why did BP hire the Edmonton Oilers to clean up the Gulf oil spill?
A: Because they'll go out there and throw in the towel!

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Q: What do I have in common with the Edmonton Oilers?
A: Next week, we'll both be watching the Stanley Cup Finals on television.

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Q: Whats the difference between the Edmonton Oilers and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking.

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Q: Did you hear the Edmonton Oilers are moving to the Phillipines?
A: They are going to be called the Manilla Folders!

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Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Edmonton Oilers fan in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog

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Q: What’s the difference between a fat chick and the Oilers?
A: Even a fat chick scores every once in a while!

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Q: How do you keep a Oilers fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick Red Wings red and white and he won't beat it for 4 years!

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Q: What’s the difference between Frequent Flyer Miles and the Edmonton Oilers?
A: Frequent Flyer Miles earn points.

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Q: What's the difference between a Rexall Place hotdog, and a Joe Louis Arena hotdog?
A: You can buy a Joe Louis Arena hotdog in May!

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Q: What's blue and orange and goes down the toilet faster than Liquid Plumber?
A: The Edmonton Oilers

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Q: What do the Edmonton Oilers and the Titanic have in common?
A: They both look good until they hit the ice!

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Q: How many Edmonton Oilers fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!

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Q: How do the Oilers spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

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Q: Why did the Oilers enforcer retire early?
A: He was ice fishing and got run over by the zamboni!

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Q: What does an Edmonton Oilers fan do when his team has won the Stanley Cup?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

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Q: How many Edmonton Oilers does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

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Q: Why don't the Oilers drink tea?
A: Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.

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Q: Why do Edmonton Oilers fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.