Hawaii Jokes

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Q: Did you hear that Hawaii's football team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.
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Q: Why did someone in Hawaii steal 1,000 pounds in premium coffee beans?
A: Because he wanted to consume it all and find out what it feels like to be Kelly Ripa!
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Q: What does the average Maui Community College student get on his SAT?
A: Drool.
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Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Hawaii campus?
A: A tourist!
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Q: What do tornadoes and graduates from Maui Community College have in common?
A: They both end up in trailer parks.
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Q: What are the best four years of a Hawaiians life?
A: Third grade
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Q: Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in Hawaii?
A: Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
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Q: What is the definition of a Hawaiian virgin?
A: An ugly twelve year old who can outrun her brothers..
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Q: What should you do if you find three University Of Hawaii football fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
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Q: What's the difference between a Hawaii Warriors fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
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Q: What do you call a Hawaiian Warrior in a BCS bowl game?
A: A referee.
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Q: How do you casterate an Hawaii Warriors fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth
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Q: What does a Hawaii native and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.
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Q: Why do Maui Community College grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
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Q: What do you call an Hawaii football player with a championship ring?
A: A thief!
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Q: How many Hawaiians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!
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Q: Why do lawyers never take their cats to Waikiki Beach?
A: Their cats keep trying to bury them with sand.
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Q: Who is Neil Abercrombie's choice for Lieutenant Governor?
A: Anne Fitch!
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Q: What's the only thing that grows in Honolulu?
A: The Crime Rate!
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Q: If you have a car containing a Warriors receiver, a Warriors linebacker, and a Warriors defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.
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