Quotes about Humorous

150830 anonym 0
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Des créatures crasseuses et méchantes, brutales, parfaitement stupides, qui vivent dans le sang, la haine et leurs propres excréments. Ils s'agglutinent là, dans la nuit, comme de grosses mouches à merde autour de vitrines de luxe désertes.

150829 anonym 0
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I have a constant hungry bum. It's like my own venus fly trap
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150675 anonym 0
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It was like there was an elephant in the room. An elephant that expected us to have sex.
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150670 anonym 0
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Your Life our your lupines!"
Dennis Moore
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151214 anonym 0
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Oh good Lord. She definitely hadn't put on enough deodorant for this.

151221 anonym 0
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They can afford to smile because they all have teeth so dazzling if they dropped them in the snow they'd be lost forever.
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151381 anonym 0
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I'm going to have to give him shit for all this,' Shane said, as he wandered around. 'He lives alone and makes his bed? Who does that?'

'People who like things neat?'

'Its not natural.

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Where did you get that assault weapon?"

"Assault weapon?" Zach turned his head to look at her. "Well, lookey there. You're cute when you blush."

Maddie's face grew hotter, but at least he'd mistaken the reason for her embarrassment.

Zach turned his face back toward the ceiling. "That there's standard equipment, darlin'."

"There's nothing standard about that."

"I didn't hear you complaining."

"Of course not. You sprang it on me when I was mentally incompetent."

Zach laughed out loud. "That you were, sweet Maddie that you were."

Maddie and Zach
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151243 anonym 0
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But I'm really enjoying my retirement. I get to sleep in every day. I do crossword puzzles and eat cake.

150537 anonym 0
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What do you mean, is that it? I just saved his career and the CIA from ruin and he calls me a perfidious ass."
"What's perfidious mean?" Ace asked from the driver's seat.
"You deceived him and stole his girlfriend out from under his nose," Julia said to Conrad. "I think technically 'ass' is a pretty mild revilement."
"Revilement?" Ace looked at one and then the other in his rearview. "This is some kind of spy talk, isn't it? Okay, I'm down with it. Just tell me what it means.
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150522 anonym 0
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Lucille must have fed him a Vallium smoothie this morning.

149676 anonym 0
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Listen, I'd rather lie naked in a plowed field under an incontinent horse for a week than have to read that paragraph again!

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There's a name for people with an interest in the moon," Alex said. "They're called lunatics.

149605 anonym 0
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Borman's dumping urine. Urine [in] approximately one minute." Two lines further along, we see Lovell saying, "What a sight to behold!

149696 anonym 0
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Life is just one small piece of light between two eternal darknesses.

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Whose is it, do you think?” I say finally. “No telling,” says Finnick. “Why don’t we let Peeta claim it, since he died today?

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Quadruple crap. Why couldn’t I control myself? Why did he have this effect on me? “Are you compelling me right now?”
To my surprise, his smile held an edge of sadness. “That would give you a much needed excuse, but I am afraid I am not.”
Curse my body for reacting to his. As long as I kept him out of my heart, I would be okay.
“I think it a bit too late for that, my dear.”
“You’re using old man speak again.” I made a face. “It’s creepy.”
He chuckled. “I’ll try to remember that, but I haven’t been around humans much in the past hundred years. It’s hard to keep up with the changes in common dialect.”
“Let’s keep on topic, Jett. You were going to teach me how to control my mind.
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150049 anonym 0
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Webster said, ''Time them skeeters get done with that old man, his French blood will be all gone and he will speak American as good as we do.

149793 anonym 0
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I don't need new boots I got bluchers back down home.
Eff the effing bluchers I'll buy you new adjectival effing elastic sided boots.
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148978 anonym 0
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I mumble my vows, Shad mutters his, and I wonder what would happen if I lunged for the door like a wild animal seeking its freedom. I could probably outrun his one-legged friend, but Shad has something of the greyhound about him.
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