Kim Kardashian One Liners Jokes

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Q: Why did Kim Kardashian marriage end so quickly?
A: She could not take another episode of shex in the shitty.

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Q: Why is Kim Kardashian going to marry a tennis player next?
A: Because love means nothing to them!

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Q: What did Kim Kardashian's right leg say to her left leg?
A: Nothing, they've never been together!!

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Q: What does Kris and Kim Kardashians marriage prove?
A: That same sex couples have no right to destroy the sanctity of marriage!

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Q: How do you make Kim Kardashian's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.

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Q: Why don't the Kardashians like Santa Claus?
A: Cause everytime Santa sees them he keeps saying hoe hoe hoe!

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Q: Why wasn't Kris Humphries the perfect husband?
A: He didn't keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open!

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Q: What does Kim Kardashian and door knobs have common?
A: Everyone gets a turn!

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Q: Why did Reggie Bush want to break up with Kim Kardashian?
A: According to Kim's press conference it was her constant need to be in the spotlight.

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Q: What did Kim Kardashian learn about marriage?
A: It puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the her eyes!

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Q: What is Kim Kardashians definition of forever?
A: When the Reality TV check is cashed!

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Q: Why did marine treasure hunters have to retract claims about finding a large booty?
A: It was just Kim Kardashian skinny dipping!

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Q: What record did Kim Kardashian recently break?
A: First woman to have an engagement ring with a bigger carat size than her IQ!

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Q: What's longer than a Kim Kardashian wedding?
A: The trick or treat line outside Casey Anthonys house

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Q: How hot is Kim Kardashian's ass?
A: So hot Kim had an air conditioner implanted into it!

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Q: How big is Kim Kardashian's butt?
A1: When she were born, the doctor said "Congratulations! Twins!"
A2: It's so big that they still can't find the last chair she sat on.
A3: She put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.
A4: She sat on a rainbow and made Skittles!
A5: When her beeper goes off, people think she is backing up!
A6: She has to iron her pants on the driveway!

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Q: Why shouldn't Kim be worried about Kris finding a "rebound" chick?
A: Anyone who has watched the Nets knows he's bad at rebounding!

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Q: Why shouldn't you feel bad for basketball player Kris Humphries?
A: He's on the rebound!

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Q: What was the movie "Superbad" originally about?
A: A heart-warming tale about Kim Kardashian's ass!

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Q: According to the police in Lima, Peru why are Jennifer Lopez and Kim Kardashian sitting on gold mines?
A: Because human-fat trafficking rings are selling cellulite to European cosmetic labs for $60,000 a gallon.