Light Bulb Jokes

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Q: How many stoners does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don't burn out man !

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Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.

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Q: How many potheads does it take to change a lightbulb.
A: Screw it, we got lighters.

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Q: How many vigilante superheros does it take to change a light-bulb?
A: None. They like the dark.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but she'll break ten bulbs before figuring out that they can't just be pushed in.

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Q: How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Actually, none because squirrels only change bulbs that are NUT broken.

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Q: How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it takes at least three light bulbs.

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Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. He puts the bulb in and lets the world revolve around him.

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Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three; one to do it and two to sue him for malpractice.

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Q: How many Apple Iphone early adopters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!

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Q: How many Democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one, but it really gets screwed.

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Q: How many `Beautiful Women' does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None: A `Beautiful Woman' has plenty of real men around to do it.

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Q: How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Zero. Mormons don't use light bulbs because they can't see the light .

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Q: How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes

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Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?
A: You turn me on.

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Q: How many math teachers does it take to replace a light bulb?
A: None. They can't do it, but they can prove that it can be done.

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Q: How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it, and one to sniff the first ones' butt.

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Q: How does Congressman John Boehner change a lightbulb?
A: Why change the bulb when you can blame it all on Obama?

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Q: How many Genius bar reps does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.

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Q: How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.