Liverpool Jokes

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Q: What do you call an Liverpool fan in a suit?
A: The accused.

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Q: What do I have in common with Liverpool?
A: Next week, we'll both be watching the Champions League final on television.

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Q: Why did God make Liverpool supporters smelly?
A: So blind people could laugh at them too!

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Q: Whats the difference between Liverpool and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking.

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Q: What do you call 100 Liverpool supporters at the bottom of a cliff?
A: A good start!

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Q: What is the difference between an Liverpool supporter and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

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Q: What does a fine wine and Liverpool have in common?
A: They both spend a lot of time in the cellar, cost too much and are only enjoyed on select occasions.

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Q: What do you say to a Liverpool supporter with a good looking bird on his arm?
A: Nice tattoo

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Q: What does a Liverpool fan do when his team has won the Champions League?
A: He turns off the PlayStation.

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Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask a Liverpool supporter!

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Q: How do you casterate an Liverpool supporter?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

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Q: How do you keep an Liverpool fan from masterbating?
A: You paint Red Devils on his dick and he won't beat it for 4 years!

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Q: What’s the difference between a line of cocaine and a pair of Liverpool tickets?
A: People would pass up a pair of Liverpool tickets.

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Q: What is the difference between Liverpool and a cup of tea?
A: The tea stays in the cup longer!

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Q: What’s the difference between Frequent Flyer Miles and Liverpool?
A: Frequent Flyer Miles earn points.

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Q: What do you call a dead Liverpool Fan in a closet?
A: Last years winner of the hide and seek contest.

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Q: Why are Liverpool strikers like grizzly bears?
A: Every fall they go into hibernation.

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Q: Did you hear that Liverpool doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

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Q: What’s the difference between a fat chick and a Liverpool striker?
A: Even a fat chick scores every once in a while!

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Q: What's the difference between Liverpool supporters and mosquitoes?
A: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.