Los Angeles Dodgers Jokes

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Q: Why doesn't Sacramento have a professional baseball team?
A: Because then Los Angeles would want one.

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Q: How many Los Angeles Dodgers does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

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Q: What do the Los Angeles Dodgers and lawn furniture have in common?
A: They both fold and end up in the cellar after Labor Day!

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Q: What do I have in common with the Los Angeles Dodgers?
A: Next week, we'll both be watching the World Series on television.

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Q: If you have a car containing a Dodgers shortstop, a Dodgers catcher, and a Dodgers outfielder, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

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Q: What is the difference between a Los Angeles Dodgers fan and a pot hole?
A: I would swerve to avoid the pot hole!

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Q: What is a Los Angeles Dodgers fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Philadelphia."

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Q: What do you call an Los Angeles Dodger in the World Series?
A: An umpire.

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Q: How do you keep a Dodgers fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick Phillies red and white and he won't beat it for 4 years!

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Q: Why did BP hire the Los Angeles Dodgers to clean up the Gulf oil spill?
A: Because they'll go out there and throw in the towel!

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Q: What should you do if you find three Los Angeles Dodgers baseball fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

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Q: How do you stop an Los Angeles Dodgers fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Philadelphia Red and White!

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Q: Did you hear that Los Angeles's baseball team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

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Q: Why is Halloween the Los Angeles Dodgers favorite holiday?
A: It’s the only thing in October they have to look forward to!

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Q: What is the diference between a cactus and the Dodgers dugout?
A: On a cactus the pricks are on the outside!

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Q: What do Los Angeles Dodgers fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

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Q: How many Los Angeles Dodgers fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!

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Q: What is the difference between a Dodgers fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

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Q: What do the Los Angeles Dodgers and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 40,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

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Q: What do you get when you combine all 40 Los Angeles Dodgers with 40 lesbians?
A: Eighty people that dont do dick!