Q: Why doesn't San Diego have a professional hockey team?
A: Because then Los Angeles would want one.
Q: How many Los Angeles Kings fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!
Q: What’s the difference between a line of cocaine and a pair of Kings tickets?
A: People would pass up a pair of Kings tickets.
Q: What song do Los Angeles Kings fans sing before the end of the third period?
A: Nobody knows. There's never any of them left.
Q: Why do Los Angeles Kings fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: What do college students and the Kings have in common?
A: They’ve both finished their year by April.
Q: Why did BP hire the Los Angeles Kings to clean up the Gulf oil spill?
A: Because they'll go out there and throw in the towel!
Q: What do the Los Angeles Kings and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 15,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".
Q: What do you call 5 Los Angeles Kings players standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Q: Whats the difference between the Los Angeles Kings and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking.
Q: What do I have in common with the Los Angeles Kings?
A: Next week, we'll both be watching the Stanley Cup Finals on television.
Q: What does a Los Angeles Kings fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.
Q: What should you do if you find three Los Angeles Kings hockey fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
Q: What’s the difference between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Los Angeles Kings?
A: The Lakers shoot at a net.
Q: What’s the difference between Frequent Flyer Miles and the Los Angeles Kings?
A: Frequent Flyer Miles earn points.
Q: What's blue and orange and goes down the toilet faster than Liquid Plumber?
A: The Los Angeles Kings
Q: What is a Los Angeles Kings fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Detroit."
Q: What do Los Angeles Kings fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Q: Why are the Kings like grizzly bears?
A: Every fall they go into hibernation.
Q: Why do Kings fans drink from a saucer?
A: Because the cup's always in Detroit!