Q: How is Kobe Bryant spending his free time this summer?
A: By adding a second bedroom to the dog house.
Q: Why did Kobe Bryant buy a dictionary?
A: To figure out what part of "no" he doesn't understand.
Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an Los Angeles Lakers fan?
A: The bucket.
Q: Why do Los Angeles Lakers fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: Why doesn't San Francisco have a professional basketball team?
A: Because then Los Angeles would want one.
Q: Did you hear about Shaq getting traded to the Miami Heat?
A: Yeah, Kobe was so happy he had sex with his own wife!
Q: Why is Kobe Bryant so confident that he'll rebound well after this scandal?
A: Because he'll be the tallest player on the prison team.
Q: Why is Kobe Bryant stacking money in his backyard?
A: To practice jumping bail.
Q: What is the difference between a Lakers fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.
Q: How many Los Angeles Lakers players does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up
Q: What do you call 12 millionaires around a TV watching the NBA Finals?
A: The Los Angeles Lakers.
Q: Why does Kobe wear goggles during sex?
A: To keep the mace out of his eyes.
Q: Why will Kobe Bryant be so UNPOPULAR in prison?
A: He's an all-star. He doesn't suck.
Q: How do the Lakers spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights
Q: What's the difference between the Los Angeles Lakers and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
Q: How do you keep a Lakers fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick Boston green and white and he won't beat it for 4 years!
Q: What do Gigli and Kobe Bryant have in common?
A: Both leave people in tears feeling screwed.
Q: What does a Los Angeles Lakers fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.
Q: Did you hear that Lakers basketball team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.
Q: What did Shaq say when he heard of Kobe's marital infidelity?
A: Kobe making a pass? She must be lying.