Maine Jokes

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Q: How many Maine Black Bears does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!
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Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Maine campus?
A: A visitor.
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Q: Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in Maine?
A: Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
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Q: What do tornadoes and graduates from the University of Maine have in common?
A: They both end up in trailer parks.
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Q: How do you casterate an Maine Black Bear fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth
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Q: How many University of Maine freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.
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Q: What should you do if you find three University Of Maine basketball fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
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Q: Why do Maine students have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First!
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Q: What is the definition of safe sex down in Maine?
A: Placing signs on the animals that kick.
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Q: What does the average University of Maine student get on his SAT?
A: Drool.
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Q: Why are rectal thermometers banned at the University of Maine?
A: They cause too much brain damage!
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Q: What do they call students who go to Maine?
A: Rejects from Dartmouth!
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Q: What do Maine and Dartmouth students have in common?
A: They both got in to University of Maine
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Q: What does a Maine native and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.
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Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Maine library?
A: Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
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Q: What is the definition of a Maine virgin?
A: An ugly twelve year old who can outrun her brothers..
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Q: Why do University Of Maine grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
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Q: What are the best four years of an U of Maine grads life?
A: Third grade
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