Marriage Jokes

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Q: What kind of rings do men need for marriage
A1: Engagement Ring
A2: Wedding Ring
A3: Suffe-Ring
A4: Endu-Ring
Q: Whats the definition of a happy marriage?
A: One where the husband gives and the wife takes.

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Q: What kind of institution is Marriage?
A: One where a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

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Q: Whats the difference between love and marriage?
A: Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

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Q: When is it okay to Love thy neighbor?
A: When her husband is away on business!

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Q: The difference between marriage and death?
A: Dead people are free.

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Q: When are feminists bad?
A: After one marries your sister!

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Q: Why shouldn't you marry a tennis player?
A: Because love means nothing to them!

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Q: What kind of process is Marriage?
A: A process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

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Q: How hard is it to lose a wife?
A: Nowadays its almost impossible!

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Q: What does marriage do?
A: Puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.

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Q: Marriage is what kind of sport?
A: One where the trapped animal has to buy the license!

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Q: Which one of your children will never grow up and move away?
A: Your husband!

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Q: Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins?
A: He baptized one and kept the other as a control.

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Q: Whats the difference between the Bride and Groom
A: In marriage, the bride gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains!

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Q: Whats the difference between marrying a Mama's Boy and a Daddy's Girl?
A: One makes biscuits like his mother and the other makes dough like her father!

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Q: What is the ideal marriage?
A: One between a deaf man and a blind woman

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Q: Who is the perfect husband?
A: One who keeps his mouth shut and his checkbook open!

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Q: How do you tranfer funds even faster than electronic banking?
A: By getting Married!

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Q: Whats the difference between love and marriage?
A: Love is blind and marriage is an eye-opener!