Massachusetts Jokes

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Q: What is the definition of safe sex down in Massachusetts?
A: Placing signs on the animals that kick.

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Q: What do they call students who go to Boston College?
A: Rejects from Harvard!

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Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the Boston College library?
A: Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

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Q: How many BC Eagles does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!

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Q: Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in Massachusetts?
A: Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

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Q: What's the difference between a BC Eagles fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

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Q: What do Boston College and UMass students have in common?
A: They both got in to Boston College

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Q: What should you do if you find three BC Eagles fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

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Q: What does a BC Eagles fan do when his team has won the BCS championship?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

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Q: How do you stop an BC fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Notre Dame Gold!

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Q: How many Boston College freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.

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Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and a Screaming Eagles fan?
A: The bucket.

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Q: What are the best four years of an BC Eagles life?
A: Third grade

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Q: What do Boston College and pot have in common?
A: They both get smoked in bowls!

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Q: Why do they not serve ice in drinks at BC Eagles games anymore?
A: The student who knew the recipe graduated

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Q: Did you hear about the fire in Boston College's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

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Q: Why do Northeastern grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

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Q: What does the average Boston College student get on his SAT?
A: Drool.

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Q: Why does a BC Eagles fan pour his cereal on a plate?
A: He lost his bowls.

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Q: Why are rectal thermometers banned at Boston College?
A: They cause too much brain damage!