Q: What do you get if you cross a math teacher with a crab?
A: Snappy answers.
Q: How do you make seven an even number?
A: Take the s out!
Q: Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?
A: It's two gross.
Q: Why did the mutually exclusive events break up?
A: They had nothing in common.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?
A: To get to the same side.
Q: Where do math teachers go on vacation?
A: To Times Square.
Q: How do you know when you've reached your Math Professors voice-mail?
A: The message is "The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please, rotate your phone by 90 degrees and try again..."
Q: What is the world's longest song?
A: "Aleph-nought Bottles of Beer on the Wall."
Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?
A: Nice belt!
Q: What do you call a number that can't keep still?
A: A roamin' numeral.
Q: How does a mathematician induce good behavior in her children?
A: `I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times...'
Q: Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
A: He worked it out with a pencil.
Q: What is normed, complete, and yellow?
A: A Bananach space...
Q: What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?
A: A middle school math problem!
Q: How is an artificial christmas tree like the fourth root of -68?
A: Neither has real roots.
Q: How many molecules in a bowl of guacamole?
A: Avacado's Number