Minnesota Jokes

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Q: What's the only thing that grows in Minneapolis?
A: The swelling from your head from getting jacked!

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Q: What does the average Minnesota State University student get on his SAT?
A: Drool.

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Q: What do tornadoes and graduates from the University of Minnesota have in common?
A: They both end up in trailer parks.

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Q: Whats the difference between the Minnesota Gophers and cheerios?
A: One belongs in a bowl. The other doesn't!

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Q: What did the Minnesota female say after sex?
A: Get off me Dad, you're crushing my smokes!

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Q: What do Minnesota and Minnesota State students have in common?
A: They both got in to Minnesota State!

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Q: What does a Minnesota Gophers fan do when his team has won the BCS championship?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

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Q: Did you hear that Minnesota's football team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

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Q: How do you make University of Minnesota cookies?
A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.

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Q: What is the definition of safe sex down in Minnesota?
A: Placing signs on the animals that kick.

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Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of Minnesota's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

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Q: Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in Minnesota?
A: Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

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Q: How do you casterate an Minnesota Gophers fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

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Q: If you have a car containing a Gophers wide receiver, a Gophers linebacker, and a Gophers defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

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Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and a Gophers fan?
A: The bucket.

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Q: What should you do if you find three University Of Minnesota football fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

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Q: Why do Minnesota grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

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Q: What does a Minnesota native and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.

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Q: What do the University of Minnesota and pot have in common?
A: They both get smoked in bowls!

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Q: What's the difference between a Southwest Minnesota State University sorority sister and a scarecrow?
A: One lives in a field and is stuffed with hay. The other frightens birds and small animals.