I had a dream about you. We were running on the beach in the moonlight, the sand glimmering like bronzed skin. The air was saturated with laughter, some of it was ours, but mostly it was from the audience seated in the stadium parallel to the ocean. I was enjoying being the star, until I realized I was naked, and the audience wasn’t laughing with me—they were laughing at me. Why didn’t anybody tell me I have an elephant trunk for a penis?
I rarely drink, but last night, after several hours and several beers at the bar, I found myself face to face with two huge boobs. They weren’t the breasts of a young woman, but those of an old man. Still, the taste of a nipple is genderless.