New York Rangers Jokes

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Q: How do the Rangers spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

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Q: How many New York Rangers does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

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Q: What's the difference between an New York Rangers fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

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Q: What do college students and the Rangers have in common?
A: They’ve both finished their year by April.

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Q: What is a New York Rangers fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Philadelphia."

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Q: What do you call 5 New York Rangers players standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.

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Q: What is the difference between a New York Rangers fan and a pot hole?
A: I would swerve to avoid the pot hole!

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Q: What do you get when you combine all 23 New York Rangers with 23 lesbians?
A: Fourty-Six people that dont do dick!

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Q: How do you stop an New York Rangers fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Philadelphia Orange and Black!

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Q: Why do New York Rangers fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

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Q: What's the difference between a Madison Square Garden hotdog, and a Wells Fargo Center hotdog?
A: You can buy a Wells Fargo Center hotdog in May!

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Q: Why are the Rangers like grizzly bears?
A: Every fall they go into hibernation.

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Q: Did you hear that New York's hockey team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

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Q: Whats the difference between the New York Rangers and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking.

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Q: What’s the difference between a line of cocaine and a pair of Rangers tickets?
A: People would pass up a pair of Rangers tickets.

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Q: What song do New York Rangers fans sing before the end of the third period?
A: Nobody knows. There's never any of them left.

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Q: Why do people like driving a car with a Rangers fan?
A: Because you can park in the handicap zone!

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Q: What's blue and orange and goes down the toilet faster than Liquid Plumber?
A: The New York Rangers

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Q: What does a New York Rangers fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.

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Q: What’s the difference between the New York Knicks and the New York Rangers?
A: The Knicks shoot at a net.