Oakland Raiders Jokes

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Q: How many Raiders fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None they are happy living in the Broncos shadow!

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Q: What does a Oakland Raiders fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.

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Q: What is the new Raiders official cologne creating a lot of buzz?
A: You wear it and the other guy scores.

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Q: What should you do if you find three Oakland Raiders football fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

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Q: How many Oakland Raiders fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!

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Q: Why do the Oakland Raiders want to change their name to the Oakland Tampons?
A: Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string!

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Q: How do you know the California State Police are seriously enforcing the Speed Limits into Oakland.
A: For the first offense, they give you two Raiders tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.

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Q: Why does President Obama want to send Raider ex-QB Jamarcus Russell to Venezuela?
A: The CIA are convinced Jamarcus is the only American who can overthrow Hugo Chavez.

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Q: What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A: The Oakland Raiders.

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Q: What do you call an Oakland Raider in the Super Bowl?
A: A referee.

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Q: Why can't Jamarcus Russell use the phone anymore?
A: Because he can't find the receiver.

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Q: What do you call an Oakland Raider with a Super Bowl ring?
A: A thief.

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Q: How do you casterate an Oakland Raiders fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

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Q: What is the difference between a Raiders fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

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Q: What do the Oakland Raiders and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

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Q: How do the Raiders spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

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Q: Why do Oakland Raiders fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

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Q: Why can't Terrell Pryor use the phone anymore?
A: Because he can't find the receiver.

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Q: Did you hear that Oaklands's football team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

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Q: Why are Oakland Raiders jokes getting dumb and dumber?
A: Because Raiders fans have started to make them up themselves.