Oklahoma Jokes

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Q: How do you stop an OSU fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Sooners Red!

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Q: What's the difference between an Oklahoma State football player and a dollar?
A: You can get four quarters out of a dollar.

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Q: If you have a car containing a Sooners wide receiver, a Sooners linebacker, and a Sooners defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

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Q: How can you tell if someone in Oklahoma is married?
A: The tobacco spit stains are on both sides of his pickup truck.

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Q: What is the definition of a Oklahoma virgin?
A: An ugly twelve year old who can outrun her brothers..

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Q: How many Oklahoma Sooners does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!

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Q: What does a Oklahoma native and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.

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Q: What do tornadoes and graduates from the Oklahoma State University have in common?
A: They both end up in trailer parks.

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Q: What does a Oklahoma Sooners fan do when his team has won the BCS championship?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

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Q: Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in Oklahoma?
A: Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

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Q: Why do folks from Oklahoma go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?
A: 17 and under are not admitted.

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Q: What is the definition of safe sex down in Oklahoma?
A: Placing signs on the animals that kick.

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Q: What's the difference between an Oklahoma Sooners fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

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Q: What do Oklahomans do on Halloween?
A: Pump kin!

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Q: What's the most popular pick up line in Oklahoma?
A: Nice tooth!

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Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and a Sooners fan?
A: The bucket.

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Q: Why are there so many unsolved murders in Oklahoma?
A: There are no dental records and everyone has the same DNA

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Q: Why does a Sooners fan pour his cereal on a plate?
A: He lost his bowls.

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Q: What do Oklahoma and Oklahoma State students have in common?
A: They both got in to Oklahoma State

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Q: What did the Oklahoma female say after sex?
A: Get off me Dad, you're crushing my smokes!