Pennsylvania Jokes

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Q: How many Nittany Lions does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!

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Q: Did you hear that Pittburgh's football team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

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Q: What does a Penn State Nittany Lion fan do when his team has won the BCS championship?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

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Q: What's the only thing that grows in Philadelphia?
A: The Crime Rate!

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Q: What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Nittany Lions fan?
A: The bucket.

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Q: What do they call students who go to University of Pittsburgh?
A: Rejects from Penn State!

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Q: How do you make Penn State University cookies?
A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.

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Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of Pittsburgh's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

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Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Pittsburgh library?
A: Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

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Q: If you have a car containing a Nittany Lions wide receiver, a Nittany Lions linebacker, and a Nittany Lions defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

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Q: What do tornadoes and graduates from the University of Pittsburgh have in common?
A: They both end up in trailer parks.

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Q: What do Penn State and pot have in common?
A: They both get smoked in bowls!

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Q: Where does everyone get there pencils from?
A: Pennsylvania!

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Q: Why do Penn State grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

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Q: Why do they not serve ice in drinks at Nittany Lions games anymore?
A: The student who knew the recipe graduated

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Q: What do you call an Penn State Nittany Lion in a BCS bowl game?
A: A referee.

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Q: Why do Pennsylvania students have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First!

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Q: What is the definition of safe sex down in Pennsylvania?
A: Placing signs on the animals that kick.

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Q: What is a Penn State fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Michigan."

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Q: Why does a Nittany Lions fan pour his cereal on a plate?
A: He lost his bowls.