Philadelphia Eagles Jokes

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Q: What does an Philadelphia Eagles fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

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Q: Why is LeSean McCoy like a grizzly bear?
A: Every fall he goes into hibernation.

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Q: What do the Philadelphia Eagles and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

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Q: What's the difference between the Philadelphia Eagles & the Taliban?
A: The Taliban has a running game!

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Q: How do you stop an Philadelphia Eagles fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in New Orleans Black and Gold!

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Q: How do you keep a Eagles fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick New Orleans gold and he won't beat it for 4 years!

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Q: Why are Philadelphia Eagles jokes getting dumb and dumber?
A: Because Eagles fans have started to make them up themselves.

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Q: What is a Philadelphia Eagles fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat New York."

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Q: How many Eagles fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None they are happy living in Dallas' shadow!

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Q: What do Bob Barker and Michael Vick have in common?
A: They both do their part to control the pet population!

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Q: Why do Philadelphia Eagles fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

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Q: Why are so many Philadelphia Eagles players claiming they have the Swine Flu?
A: So They don't have to touch the pigskin!

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Q: How many Philadelphia Eagles fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!

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Q: What did the Eagles fan say after his team won the Super Bowl?
A: "Dammit mom, why'd you wake me up? I was having an amazing dream!"

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Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and a Philadelphia Eagles fan?
A: The bucket.

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Q: How do the Eagles spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

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Q: What's the difference between an Philadelphia Eagles fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

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Q: What should you do if you find three Philadelphia Eagles football fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

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Q: How do you casterate an Philadelphia Eagles fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

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Q: Want to hear a Eagles joke?
A: LeSean McCoy!