Physics Jokes

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Q: What did the physicist snack on during lunch?
A: A 'gram' cracker.
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Q: What do physicists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.
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Q: What's the integral of (1/cabin)d(cabin)?
A: A natural log cabin!
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Q: Why is a physics book always unhappy?
A: Because it always has lots of problems.
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Q: According to a physicist, why is the world so diverse?
A: Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
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Q: What would you call a clown in jail?
A: Silicon (Silly Con)
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Q: What is the simplest way to observe the optical Doppler effect?
A: Go out at and look at cars. The lights of the ones approaching you are white, while the lights of the ones moving away from you are red.
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Q: What did one quantum physicist say when he wanted to fight another quantum physicist?
A: Let me atom.
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Q: How many theoretical physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.
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Q: Why was the Calculus teacher bad at baseball?
A: He was better at fitting curves than hitting them.
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Q: What did one uranium-238 nucleus say to the other?
A: "Gotta split!"
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Q: What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
A: A CaNiNe
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Q: What is the name of the first electricity detective?
A: Sherlock Ohms
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Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
A: They bonded well from the minute they met.
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Q: What did the male magnet say to the female magnet?
A: From your backside, I thought you were repulsive. However, after seeing you from the front, I find you rather attractive.
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Q: What do physicists enjoy doing the most at sporting events?
A: The Wave
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Q: Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.
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Q: What did Al Gore play on his guitar?
A: An Algorithm
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Q: Where does bad light end up?
A: In a prism.
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Q: What did Donald Duck say in his graduate physics class?
A: Quark, quark, quark!
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