Q: What does a Pittsburgh Pirates fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.
Q: How many Pittsburgh Pirates fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!
Q: Why doesn't Harrisburg have a professional baseball team?
A: Because then Pittsburgh would want one.
Q: What do Michael Jackson and the Pittsburgh Pirates infielders have in common?
A: They both wear one glove for no apparent reason.
Q: What should you do if you find three Pittsburgh Pirates baseball fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
Q: What do Pirates fans use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: What do Pittsburgh Pirates fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Q: What do I have in common with the Pittsburgh Pirates?
A: Next week, we'll both be watching the World Series on television.
Q: What do you call a Pirates player with a World Series ring?
A: a thief.
Q: If you have a car containing a Pirates shortstop, a Pirates catcher, and a Pirates outfielder, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.
Q: What does an Pittsburgh Pirates fan do when his team has won the World Series?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.
Q: How do you keep a Pirates fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick Phillies red and white and he won't beat it for 4 years!
Q: What do you call 40 millionaires around a TV watching the World Series?
A: The Pittsburgh Pirates.
Q: What's the difference between an Pittsburgh Pirates fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Q: Why is Halloween the Pittsburgh Pirates favorite holiday?
A: It’s the only thing in October they have to look forward to!
Q: What do you get when you combine all 40 Pittsburgh Pirates with 40 lesbians?
A: Eighty people that dont do dick!
Q: What is the difference between a bucket of shit and an Pittsburgh Pirates fan?
A: The bucket.
Q: What is the diference between a cactus and the Pirates dugout?
A: On a cactus the pricks are on the outside!
Q: What is the difference between a Pittsburgh Pirates fan and a pot hole?
A: I would swerve to avoid the pot hole!
Q: You're trapped in a room with a Lion, a rattlesnake, and a Pirates fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A: Shoot the Pirates Fan.......Twice!