Quotes about Random

147263 anonym 0
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Why?' He asked.
'Why what?' What could I say? Noah, despite you being an asshole, or maybe because of it, I'd like to rip off your clothes and have your babies. Don't tell.

147216 anonym 0
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That proves you are unusual,' returned the Scarecrow; 'and I am convinced that the only people worthy of consideration in this world are the unusual ones. For the common folks are like the leaves of a tree, and live and die unnoticed.

147137 anonym 0
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I managed to beat Michael Phelps’ 400 meter IM time. And not only did I beat his time, but I did it in exactly 200 meters.


147105 anonym 0
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A brick could be used as a sex toy. Well, I say sex toy, but the politician strapped to the bed would probably say torture device. 


147417 anonym 0
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A blanket could be used to feed the homeless. I mean warm the coldless. I mean coldsome. I wouldn’t know, because I’m homefull.


148307 anonym 0
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A brick could be thrown, like a football, only instead of a wide receiver, I’d recommend sending out a politician to catch your pass.


148606 anonym 0
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A blanket could be used to help acclimate your body for your after death experience. Hell is hot, so you’d better warm up first. 


148429 anonym 0
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A brick could be used to say hi to Pink Floyd.


148324 anonym 0
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A brick can’t cure cancer. But who knows, maybe a brick combined with a blanket could. I’ll have to ask Dr. Burzynski about it.


147059 anonym 0
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A brick could be used as a steak knife, and a fly swatter could be used as a meat tenderizer.


147039 anonym 0
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A brick could be used as a measurement of time. Yes, just think how stylish you’ll look with a brick duct taped to your wrist!


145928 anonym 0
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The Baudelaire orphans hung on to one another, and wept and wept while the adults argued endlessly behind them. Finally-as, I'm sorry to say, Count Olaf forced the Quagmires into puppy costumes so he could sneak them onto the airplane without anyone noticing-the Baudelaires cried themselves out and just sat on the lawn together in weary silence.

145878 anonym 0
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To the potluck I brought something I randomly found in my fridge. It was the source of the stink.


145732 anonym 0
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A blanket could be used as Concealment Revealer. It both conceals and reveals, like great dialogue. Here’s some great dialogue I wrote for two characters, Mr. Brick, and Ms. Blanket:

Mr. Brick: I like your dress

Ms. Blanket: I’m naked, you moron

Mr. Brick: Tuesdays make me vomit. What are you doing one minute after Monday at 11:59 PM?

145974 anonym 0
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You can sit on a brick, and milk a cow with a blanket.

146005 anonym 0
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A blanket could be hung on your living room wall, and watched instead of nightly news. Not only would it be more honest, but it also would be more entertaining and thought provoking.


146993 anonym 0
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A blanket could be used to reaffirm your faith in God, though I’d suggest using something a little firmer, like a brick.


146805 anonym 0
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A brick could be used to suppress certain groups of people, particularly those individuals who are too weak to stand up and say Hey, somebody get this brick off of me—it’s crushing me!


146075 anonym 0
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Don't become a random photograph in the eyes of friends, and even your enemies, for each glance at your face will cause a declination of value and reputation. Create value, through scarcity.

145543 anonym 0
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If my semen had chunks of crumbled brick in it, would you use yogurt to try to impregnate your fireplace?