I realized that whilst crying over the loss, the living did not seem adequate because they were not my loved one. The room full of strangers hurt me profusely. Even as I saw thousands of young people; I felt incomplete and more saddened because the one I wanted to see was buried.
It was like this blackness that crept into the corners of my life until everything was grey and dirty. My insides felt burnt out, like if you cut me open, all you would find would be smoke. No heart. No bones. There was nothing left, just the anger. It followed me everywhere. It sat on my bed and watched me sleep and when I had to eat, it looked at me across the table.
Isolation, for him, had become a basic sine qua non for existence and loneliness, his sole companion like a perfectly faithful twin. He was someone for whom even happiness would cry for, mourning the death of his sentiments and murdering the existence of his soul.
Love, he told himself, was open to interpretation like any other abstract indulgence but followed the same principles everywhere, irrespective of everything else. One, either won or lost in love, there was no bridge in between, and he decided he had lost, lost to himself, if not to her.
it is so dark now with the sadness of
they were tricked, they were taught to expect the
ultimate when nothing is
now young girls weep alone in small rooms
old men angrily swing their canes at
ladies comb their hair as
ants search for survival
history surrounds us
and our lives
Повезло и тебе: где еще, кроме разве что фотографии,
ты пребудешь всегда без морщин, молода, весела, глумлива?
Ибо время, столкнувшись с памятью, узнает о своем бесправии.
Я курю в темноте и вдыхаю гнилье отлива.
I take no joy in mead nor meat, and song and laughter have become suspicious strangers to me. I am a creature of grief and dust and bitter longings. There is an empty place within me where my heart was once.