San Francisco Giants Jokes

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Q: What's the difference between an San Francisco Giants fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

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Q: What is a San Francisco Giants fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Philadelphia."

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Q: Did you hear the San Francisco Giants are moving to the Phillipines?
A: They are going to be called the Manilla Folders!

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Q: Why doesn't Sacramento have a professional baseball team?
A: Because then San Francisco would want one.

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Q: What do the San Francisco Giants and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 40,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

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Q: What should you do if you find three San Francisco Giants baseball fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

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Q: How do you stop an San Francisco Giants fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Philadelphia Red and White!

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Q: How many San Francisco Giants does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

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Q: How do you make a Giants fan laugh on Monday?
A: Tell him a joke on Friday!

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Q: How many San Francisco Giants fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!

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Q: How do the Giants spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

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Q: What do the San Francisco Giants and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

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Q: Whats the difference between the San Francisco Giants and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking.

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Q: What do you call a Giants player with a World Series ring?
A: a thief.

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Q: Why are the San Francisco Giants starting pitchers like orphans?
A: Because they don't know where home is!

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Q: What do Giants fans use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.

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Q: What does an San Francisco Giants fan do when his team has won the World Series?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

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Q: Why is Halloween the San Francisco Giants favorite holiday?
A: It’s the only thing in October they have to look forward to!

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Q: What do the San Francisco Giants and lawn furniture have in common?
A: They both fold and end up in the cellar after Labor Day!

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Q: What song do San Francisco Giants fans sing before the bottom of the ninth inning?
A: Nobody knows. There's never any of them left.