San Jose Sharks Jokes

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Q: Why doesn't Sacramento have a professional hockey team?
A: Because then San Jose would want one.

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Q: How many San Jose Sharks fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!

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Q: What does a recent high school dropout and the San Jose Sharks have in common?
A: They’re both young, have no goals and no good prospects.

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Q: What do the San Jose Sharks and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 15,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

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Q: How do you keep a Sharks fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick Red Wings red and white and he won't beat it for 4 years!

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Q: Whats the difference between the San Jose Sharks and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking.

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Q: How do you stop an San Jose Sharks fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Detroit Red and White!

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Q: Why are the Sharks like grizzly bears?
A: Every fall they go into hibernation.

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Q: What is the difference between a bucket of shit and an San Jose Sharks fan?
A: The bucket.

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Q: How can you tell if a Sharks fan just sent you a fax?
A: There's a stamp on it!

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Q: What do you call 5 San Jose Sharks players standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.

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Q: If you have a car containing a Sharks forward, a Sharks center, and a Sharks defender, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

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Q: Why did the Post Office recall their latest stamps?
A: They had pictures of Sharks players on them and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

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Q: What is the difference between a Sharks fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

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Q: Why are the San Jose Sharks like the United States Postal Service?
A: They both wear uniforms and don't deliver!

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Q: What's the difference between a HP Pavilion hotdog, and a Joe Louis Arena hotdog?
A: You can buy a Joe Louis Arena hotdog in May!

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Q: What do you call 23 millionaires around a TV watching the Stanley Cup Finals?
A: The San Jose Sharks.

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Q: Did you hear the San Jose Sharks are moving to the Phillipines?
A: They are going to be called the Manilla Folders!

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Q: What's the difference between an San Jose Sharks fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

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Q: How many San Jose Sharks does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up