Seattle Mariners Jokes

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Q: What's the difference between a Safeco Field hotdog, and a Citizens Bank Park hotdog?
A: You can buy a Citizens Bank Park hotdog in October!

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Q: What do Michael Jackson and the Seattle Mariners infielders have in common?
A: They both wear one glove for no apparent reason.

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Q: How do the Mariners spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

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Q: What do the Seattle Mariners and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 40,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

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Q: What is the diference between a cactus and the Mariners dugout?
A: On a cactus the pricks are on the outside!

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Q: How do you keep a Mariners fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick New York blue and white and he won't beat it for 4 years!

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Q: What is the difference between a Mariners fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

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Q: What do the Seattle Mariners and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

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Q: What do you call an Seattle Mariners in the World Series?
A: An umpire.

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Q: What is the difference between a Seattle Mariners fan and a pot hole?
A: I would swerve to avoid the pot hole!

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Q: What does a Seattle Mariners fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.

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Q: Why do all the trees in the Northwest lean towards Seattle?
A: It’s because the Mariners suck.

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Q: Did you hear the Seattle Mariners are moving to the Phillipines?
A: They are going to be called the Manilla Folders!

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Q: How many Seattle Mariners does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

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Q: How do you make a Mariners fan laugh on Monday?
A: Tell him a joke on Friday!

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Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Seattle Mariners fan in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog

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Q: What's the difference between an Seattle Mariners fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

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Q: What should you do if you find three Seattle Mariners baseball fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

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Q: Why do Seattle Mariners fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

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Q: Why did the Post Office recall their latest stamps?
A: They had pictures of Mariners players on them and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.