Q: Did you hear that St Louis's baseball team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.
Q: What do you call 40 millionaires around a TV watching the World Series?
A: The St Louis Cardinals.
Q: What do Cardinals fans use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: What's the difference between dirt and the St Louis Cardinals?
A: Nothing...they both always get swept.
Q: Why did the Post Office recall their latest stamps?
A: They had pictures of Cardinals players on them and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
Q: What's the difference between a Busch Stadium hotdog, and a Citizens Bank Park hotdog?
A: You can buy a Citizens Bank Park hotdog in October!
Q: What do the St Louis Cardinals and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
Q: If you have a car containing a Cardinals shortstop, a Cardinals catcher, and a Cardinals outfielder, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.
Q: Why did BP hire the St Louis Cardinals to clean up the Gulf oil spill?
A: Because they'll go out there and throw in the towel!
Q: Why is Halloween the St Louis Cardinals favorite holiday?
A: It’s the only thing in October they have to look forward to!
Q: How many St Louis Cardinals fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!
Q: What do I have in common with the St Louis Cardinals?
A: Next week, we'll both be watching the World Series on television.
Q: How many St Louis Cardinals does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up
Q: How do you casterate an St Louis Cardinals fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth
Q: Why can't the St Louis Cardinals use the internet?
A: Because they can’t get 3 W’s in a row.
Q: What do you get when you combine all 40 St Louis Cardinals with 40 lesbians?
A: Eighty people that dont do dick!
Q: What is the difference between Jake Westbrook and bowling icon Walter Ray Williams, Jr.?
A: Walter Ray Williams, Jr. knows how to throw a strike.
Q: How do you keep a Cardinals fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick Phillies red and white and he won't beat it for 4 years!
Q: What song do St Louis Cardinals fans sing before the bottom of the ninth inning?
A: Nobody knows. There's never any of them left.
Q: What do you call a Cardinals player with a World Series ring?
A: a thief.