Swimming Jokes

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Q: Why won't they allow elephants in public swimming pools?
A: Because they might let down their trunks.

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Q: Why wasn't the blonde afraid when she saw a shark while she was swimming in the water?
A: Because it was a man-eating shark!

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Q: What detergent do swimmers use to wash their wet suit?
A: Tide!

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Q: Why is swimming like sex?
A: When it's good, it's really, really good. And when it's bad.....it's still pretty good.

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Q: What kind of swimmer makes a good gardener?
A: One with great seed times!

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Q: What kind of exercises are best for a swimmer?
A: Pool-ups!

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Q: What kind of stroke can you use on toast?
A: BUTTER-fly!

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Q: What's the hardest thing about wearing a speedo?
A: Telling your parents that your gay!

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Q: How do swimmers clean themselves?
A: They wash up on shore!

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Q: Why did the blonde keep doing the backstroke?
A: She just had lunch and didn't want to swim on a full stomach.

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Q: What kind of dive are infantry men best at?
A: Cannon-ball

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Q: What did the blonde write on the bottom of her swimming pool?
A: No smoking!

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Q: Did you hear about the slow swimmer?
A: He could only do the crawl.

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Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
A: Frosted Flakes.

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Q: How do people swimming in the ocean say HI to each other?
A: They Wave!

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Q: Why should you never swim on a full stomach?
A: Because it's easier to swim in water!

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Q: What race is never run?
A: A swimming race.

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Q: Why do squirrels swim on there back?
A: To keep their nuts dry!

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Q: Where do ghosts like to go swimming?
A: Lake Eerie

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Q: What do you call a competitive swimmer who just broke up with his girlfriend?
A: Homeless