Tampa Bay Lightning Jokes

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Q: What’s the difference between the Miami Heat and the Tampa Bay Lightning?
A: The Heat shoot at a net.

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Q: What is the difference between a Tampa Bay Lightning fan and a pot hole?
A: I would swerve to avoid the pot hole!

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Q: What should you do if you find three Tampa Bay Lightning hockey fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

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Q: What does a recent high school dropout and the Tampa Bay Lightning have in common?
A: They’re both young, have no goals and no good prospects.

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Q: What do I have in common with the Tampa Bay Lightning?
A: Next week, we'll both be watching the Stanley Cup Finals on television.

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Q: Why do Lightning fans drink from a saucer?
A: Because the cup's always in Detroit!

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Q: Why did the Post Office recall their latest stamps?
A: They had pictures of Lightning players on them and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

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Q: What do a fine wine and the Tampa Bay Lightning have in common?
A: They both spend a lot of time in the cellar, cost too much and are only enjoyed on select occasions.

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Q: What is a Tampa Bay Lightning fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Philadelphia."

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Q: What is it called when a Tampa Bay Lightning player blows in another Lightning players ear?
A: Data transfer.

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Q: What’s the difference between a fat chick and the Tampa Bay Lightning?
A: Even a fat chick scores every once in a while!

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Q: What do you get when you combine all 23 Tampa Bay Lightning with 23 lesbians?
A: Fourty-Six people that dont do dick!

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Q: Did you hear the Tampa Bay Lightning are moving to the Phillipines?
A: They are going to be called the Manilla Folders!

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Q: Why do people like driving a car with a Lightning fan?
A: Because you can park in the handicap zone!

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Q: How can you tell if a Lightning fan just sent you a fax?
A: There's a stamp on it!

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Q: What does a Tampa Bay Lightning fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.

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Q: How do you keep a Lightning fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick Flyers orange and black and he won't beat it for 4 years!

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Q: Why doesn't Miami have a professional hockey team?
A: Because then Tampa Bay would want one.

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Q: Why don't the Lightning drink tea?
A: Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.

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Q: Why do the Lightning suck at geometry?
A: Because they never have any points.