Virginia Jokes

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Q: How do you stop an Cavaliers fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Chicago Maroon and Burnt Orange!

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Q: What does the average Virginia Tech University student get on his SAT?
A: Drool.

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Q: What should you do if you find three Virginia Tech Hokies football fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

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Q: What do the University of Virginia and pot have in common?
A: They both get smoked in bowls!

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Q: What do tornadoes and graduates from the University of Virginia have in common?
A: They both end up in trailer parks.

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Q: Whats the difference between the Virginia Tech Hokies and cheerios?
A: One belongs in a bowl. The other doesn't!

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Q: What's harder than a loner Korean getting admission to Virginia Tech?
A: Nothing.

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Q: What's the difference between an Virginia Tech Hokies fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

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Q: Why don't girls play hide and seek in Virginia?
A: No one would look for them.

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Q: How many Virginia Tech Hokies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!

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Q: What is the definition of safe sex down in Virginia?
A: Placing signs on the animals that kick.

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Q: Did you hear about the fire in Virgina Tech's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

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Q: What do you call an Virginia Cavalier in a BCS bowl game?
A: A referee.

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Q: What does a Virginia Tech fan do when his team has won the BCS championship?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

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Q: What's the only thing that grows in Virginia Beach?
A: The swelling from your head from getting jacked!

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Q: Why do Radford grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

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Q: How many Virginia Tech University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.

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Q: What is a Cavaliers fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Virginia Tech."

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Q: What are the best four years of an Virginia Tech Hokies life?
A: Third grade

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Q: If you have a car containing a Hokies wide receiver, a Hokies linebacker, and a Hokies defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.