Washington Capitals Jokes

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Q: What is the difference between a Capitals fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

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Q: Why did BP hire the Washington Capitals to clean up the Gulf oil spill?
A: Because they'll go out there and throw in the towel!

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Q: Whats the difference between the Washington Capitals and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking.

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Q: What do a fine wine and the Washington Capitals have in common?
A: They both spend a lot of time in the cellar, cost too much and are only enjoyed on select occasions.

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Q: What’s the difference between the Washington Wizards and the Washington Capitals?
A: The Wizards shoot at a net.

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Q: What’s the difference between a fat chick and the Washington Capitals?
A: Even a fat chick scores every once in a while!

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Q: How can you tell if a Capitals fan just sent you a fax?
A: There's a stamp on it!

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Q: What's the difference between an Washington Capitals fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

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Q: Did you hear that Washington's hockey team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

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Q: What do I have in common with the Washington Capitals?
A: Next week, we'll both be watching the Stanley Cup Finals on television.

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Q: Why do people like driving a car with a Capitals fan?
A: Because you can park in the handicap zone!

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Q: Why did the Post Office recall their latest stamps?
A: They had pictures of Capitals players on them and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

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Q: What do you call 5 Washington Capitals players standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.

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Q: Why did the Capitals enforcer retire early?
A: He was ice fishing and got run over by the zamboni!

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Q: What's the difference between a Verizon Center hotdog, and a Wells Fargo Center hotdog?
A: You can buy a Wells Fargo Center hotdog in May!

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Q: Why are the Capitals like grizzly bears?
A: Every fall they go into hibernation.

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Q: If you have a car containing a Capitals forward, a Capitals center, and a Capitals defender, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

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Q: What’s the difference between a line of cocaine and a pair of Capitals tickets?
A: People would pass up a pair of Capitals tickets.

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Q: What is a Washington Capitals fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Philadelphia."

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Q: What do the Washington Capitals and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!