139848 anonym 0
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I hope that the kind reader recognises this as a despairing attempt at humour.
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139480 anonym 0
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My waist is a 30. The jeans are a 28. When I fart, the Reeboks blow off.

139150 anonym 0
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Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.

137563 anonym 0
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(About a cookbook...)
- What about this one? Maids of Honor?
- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor...but they ends up Tarts.

139943 anonym 0
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All women may not be beautiful but every woman can look beautiful.

140187 anonym 0
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Think of something clever, witty or profound, keep it short and people may quote you.

143947 anonym 0
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-"He loved her...It was noble of him. It was beautiful."

-"It was stupid.

141035 anonym 0
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Kevin", his father began, "I've been thinking about it – I guess I was kind of carried away. It's just that I've waited so long for my old school to make it to the Regionals... I suppose I was living it vicariously through you. Keith says you're not going to fail, after all. Is that right?"

"Looks like I'll make it. I know it's hard to believe..."

"Yes, it is. I was hoping you could get a football scholarship, you know. Something to waive the entrance requirements, because I don't know what college would take you-"

"Yeah. Thanks a lot Dad," Kevin said sarcastically. He already knew what his father thought of him and didn't need to be reminded yet again.

"Oh, come on. You know perfectly well that you're too stupid to-"

"That's not what my boyfriend says. Oh, by the way, Dad – I'm a faggot. Did I mention that?"

"... Kevin – get your stuff, and get out."

"Gladly.
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140368 anonym 0
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First rule of thievery,' Eli said, grinning, 'only run if you're not coming back.' (...) 'First rule of thievery, never use the same entrance twice.' Miranda rolled her eyes. 'How many 'first rules' of thievery do you have?' 'When one mistake can mean your head on a pike, every rule's a first rule,' Eli said cheerfully.

137182 anonym 0
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If I were to vote, I would intentionally vote for the goofiest candidate. It is my theory that when the people can outwit the leader, the more respected their voices will be.

136320 anonym 0
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THOUGHTS are the WORDS supported with the ACTION and both are not independent of each other to produce results.

133350 anonym 0
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To be extremely happy but extremely intelligent is a task of being optimistic without being cheesy.

130464 anonym 0
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I don't use big words to show off because it's ostentatious.

128824 anonym 0
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I frankly felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport was very warm and hospitable. And I want to thank the Canadian people who came out to wave -- with all five fingers -- for their hospitality.
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133437 anonym 0
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Yes. Reyn is our resident horse master. He has an excellent seat."
I grinned. "I've noticed."
Reyn's face tightened and Nell flushed, looking embarrassed. "It's an equestrian term."
"Really? I thought you were talking about his ass.

134445 anonym 0
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It ain’t whatcha write, it’s the way atcha write it.

135984 anonym 0
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One of the great advantages of
having a library,your eminence,
is that it is full of books.
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135128 anonym 0
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Baptists don’t spend their time thinking about reality.

128081 anonym 0
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Intelligence is more important than strength, that is why earth is ruled by men and not by animals.